I'm Bringin' Shame Back, Baby!
Justin Timberlake released a tune called, "SexyBack" in 2006. The music was sparse and the groove simple. But I gotta say, it was a cold little jam. I dug it—still do. And what a bold statement, to claim he was the Cat to bring sexy back. I tipped my fedora to him on that one.
Brene Brown, is a research professor who has brought considerable info on shame and the lasting damages it can bring. I'm with her on most points and I'm a big fan, but I'm not 100% on all points. I'm in the camp that a certain amount of shame can potentially go a long way. And shame is often needed—desperately—to keep society's train on the track!
I came up in a time when the hand of shame could be felt...at times heavily. Back then, circa 1975 let's say, we had a few deaf students at my elementary school. We were told to refer to them as "hard of hearing." This was a gesture of respect. Politically correct before PC was a thing. Kids, as we all know, can be kids (A-holes). On occasion a bully or little prick would sneak up and mimic the deaf kids. They'd call them "deafies" or mock the sign language or talk extra loud, and so on.
Remember, we were 10 year olds and it was the 70's.
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| shame on you, bro! |
If you were a "good kid" who played by the rules, you might head to the principal's office and rat out the "mocker." The transgressor would find his butt in the principal's office and hear the words: "shame on you!" If the bad kid had a decent upbringing he felt shame. He'd stare at his shoes and mumble out a soft apology. That would be step one. The principal would then march the baddie to the victim and elicit another apology. And that sucka would be forced to look the kid in the eye, too!
Often that would be the end of it. Shame would win the day!
During the 2016 presidential campaign, would-be president D.J. Trump mocked Pulitzer Prize winning reporter, Serge Kovaleski, a man with a congenital joint condition known as Anthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita (AMC). Essentially, the joints are locked in place or have limited movement. When pressed on the issue, Trump denied the mocking. He claimed he was, "mocking a groveling reporter."
Really? Sounds thinner than tissue paper. He doubled down and claimed he did not know Kovaleski had the affliction. Thinner, still.
In this incident, Trump would be labeled the shameful one, yet he felt no shame. What didn't help, and what often spurs on the bully, is that Trump was at a rally surrounded by sycophantic revelers. Bullies love an audience. And for the record the audience was also without shame.
How a society treats the disadvantaged or a man with AMC, says volumes about the society. The entire community the world over should have dropped a shame bomb on the would-be power seeker. And many did. Shame should have won out. Voters should have cast their ballots anywhere but behind his name. But that wasn't the case now was it? No. His denial was not only pathetic, it was a lie...and not an intelligent one.
He won the 2016 election, lost the next one, and is now back in the white house. All the while he's spoken unfiltered. Because shame has not worked, he's blathered on with impunity, and his defenders merely say, "Ah, that's just Trump being Trump." As if going unchecked for so long and so often in his shameless manner means, the dude gets a pass.
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| Serge Kovaleski |
That young boy from the 70's who was "hard of hearing" probably found peace in his struggle to adapt to the world of his/my day, due to the principal's action. He certainly had an easier time of it thanks to shame doing what shame can. But in fairness to that bully back then, he was a wee 10 year old figuring shit out. Trump is president of the United States...for the second time. We've got a ton of work to do. Which is why I'm going to need your help. Cause I'm brinin' shame back, baby! Let's go!!!
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